blacK solitude

Monday, October 31, 2005

Sorry I have been inactive for these few days...
There's just oh, so much activities going on (most being sleeping), and I really didn't have the time.

There was no rain today. I was hoping it'll rain- rain makes me feel a whole lot better (natural cure). I have not been faring well lately. Had a really bad tiff with my mother and we're not exactly on talking terms. Chad's nowhere to be seen...hmm...wonder if he's taking up basketball. Tian's just... around, probably taking a new love intrest this vey minute. (Don't know what's in his head- probably maggots) Choir's not exacly faring much better either...god knows how many times we've been asked to 'use our brain'. Pigging out again...it's my reccord month this October.

For my speech and drama centre, we reccently held an event- Halloween. It's the second year we're holding this event and it was really hectic for helpers like us. I had to dress up as Dorothy and perform this little act(Act 2, was it?) at the end of the show. One of the other pieces they performed was my own hand-written poem! I was pretty delighted, but it was kinda embarrassing too, so I begged Miss Gracey not to tell...

I better go now, before I start ranting again.
My heart bades me to say goodbye.

Wonder if the coffin seller would give me a discount for my birthday?

sharon was alone 9:41 PM

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

A new day has just begun but my life has just ended with it. I don't understand why I'm so horrible at games...it always seems that I am making my poor teamate suffer with me. I seriously feel depressed; and even my maple is not working. Nothing seems to be right...

"If only I had wings to fly high,

I'll know how you feel.

The wind brushing past your cheek;

the earth, beneath you.

And feel the rush of joy;

this feeling of freedom it brings,

And gaze upon the brilliant land;

Lighted up, to the wake of morn."

Some stupid lyric I just came up on the spot. Looks like a child's work huh, well, I don't know why I'm so critical of myself today, but I just am. Better not speak anymore, if not I'm going to criticize myself so badly, I won't want to live.

Saw the coffin designs...It has more than I had expected. They even offered me a special offer for an anime design. Hmm...seems like I'm planning for something as big as a wedding. Ending here- Tian just called.

sharon was alone 12:05 AM

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Friday, October 28, 2005

School is over(just), and I'm now sitting at home typing this. Report books just came back, and i assure you, i deproved,well, only not just as badly as I expected. As usual, Chad beat me once again. I swear I'll never talk to him again...just that i always do a few days later...

Tian's in a different school, but I'm betting he got in the top 10 of his level again. Sigh, who asks me to have such smart friends? Sharon and Melissa and Su Luan and others should be okay, i guess...I'm not really asking them just YET- you know girls are more sensitive. Sigh, currently, besides typing, I'm pigging out- yes, once again.

The coffin order's not in yet...wonder how it would look like.

sharon was alone 2:15 PM

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

It's three more days before school ends, and I can't wait. (although CCA takes up my whole november shedule) Today, we went to the new water factory and the tour guide was really funny...it didn't turn out to be as boring as I expected, so I'm not going to complain.

I got caught up with another song today...It's the song " If you get there before I do". The tune is just so catchy and it has just this...unexplainable sadness about it, which is much similar to the mood i am in. Chad is still lamenting about his near perfect results and so are the others, I'm not- I'm still kinda numb, like I'm trying to evade it...not sure what will actually happen when the report book comes back on Friday. I guess everything would sink in...I seriously hope I won't break down.(most likely I won't..I'm pretty cold-type). Tian's asking me to quit writing rubbish and reply him NOW. Most probably he thinks I'm thinking of suicide again...well, I can't help it can I..I mean, what about my coffin booking?

" if you get there before i do,

don't give up on me.

i'll meet you when my chores are through;

i don't know how long i'll be

but i'm not gonna let you down-

darling wait and see...

and between now and then,

until i see you again,

i'll be lovin' you...

love, me."

sharon was alone 6:20 PM

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Stress and exams is boaring everyone down these days...the world's not developing as much as it used to and till now, we still don't know whether we're the only galaxy in the universe. They do not seem to realise much about the new generation they are producing to carry on the survival of the human race; and that we are not much as knowledgable as before. Students lack many things- one of those which is by learning with nature. Hands on experiences are rare to comeby, especially uncreated ones.

I better not ramble on again. It's tuesday....well, not exactly, since it's past midnight. I'm dying-well, not yet- but soon. Results are out and the atmosphere around school is, well- depressed. No enthusiasm (not like there was any before) in anything, not even cleaning
classroom (well, i mean, there's not much to feel excited about anyway). I guess if Tian didn't stop me i'll actually be in either Heaven or Hell (Hell, most likely). My coffin's still ready, and this time I'm not going to fail...I'm sure he can't always be with me 24/7.

Any last notes?Best pass it to me soon.

sharon was alone 1:25 AM

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

....sigh.....good evening..no, it's morning now...
As usual, im feeling like my soul has already left me. I'm not exactly feeling much about sleeping even though it's morning already- maybe tiring myself out would work, not really sure though. I've just finished another short presentation..really hopes it is okay. If any of you who happens to pass my blog, feel welcome to ask me for it...( if I'm not dead by then )- unless of course you're C.h.a.d. L.i.n. . Anyways, betcha Chad is talking behind my back now...hahaz, actually no. Well, for childhood friends, there must be an evil one- i'll b that!! Can't talk much....awaiting death...
coffin slot 111190 please....

sharon was alone 1:00 AM

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Monday, October 24, 2005

Konichiwa. It's sunday morning, and im really thinking of mydeath day tomorrow. Well, almost all the exam scripts are coming back tomorrow; except for chinese, i guess, since it was given on Friday. Sigh. Even my chinese's marks are not looking too good already...suicide's a good suggestion. Well, there are loads of ways to suicide if i ever needed too...it's just the insurance part im afraid of- I mean, come on, which insurance policy says that if u suicide, you'll get a fat envelop of money??(That company would be just stupid) Sigh...sigh sigh sigh. Even if i die, I would like to sigh away my troubles now. Sigh Sigh Sigh...leave me be...

sharon was alone 1:00 AM

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

hey people!

I finally have my own blog!! my. very. own . blog! mine, mine, ALL MINE!! *evil laughter* Hahas, take that, Chad! (and it looks ten times better than yours! WHAHAHA) Loads of thanks to my dear friend Sharon....hmm.... I'll try and post up regularly.... but there's, oh, so much to do...well, guess that's where the word "try" comes from.

Anyways, Just wanna say a warm welcome to anyone who happens to pass by this beautiful blog that's contaminated by my rubbish...haha.(not much of a sense of humour, eh?)

Exams are finally over, but now im dreading the return of the killer scripts. How's good luck for a change....

sharon was alone 1:00 PM

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Monday, October 17, 2005

whoo. ok. this is your new blog. hope you like the template, if not, i'll tell ya where to go to change it. have fun! i linked the others and got a tagboard for you too.

sharon was alone 6:09 PM

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